Nerd spiker

Lori Kendall's "Oh no! I'm a nerd!" really resonated with me, and perhaps it's most because the subjects of her study reminded me so much of myself and my group of dude friends in high school.

Kendall studied men, specifically nerdy men, as they formed a community in the online forum called BlueSky. There is a lot of self-deprecating nerd humor ("HOW DID I GET SO NERDY?"); "didja spike her?" is a common joke when meeting a female is brought up in conversation, meaning did the guy have sex with her, but because these guys are self-identified nerds they never sincerely mean this question -- they admit as much when questioned by Kendall. There is a lot of discussion regarding "jerks always get the ladies but nice guys never do" and a lot of what could be seen as color-blindness, where a nerdy Asian gentleman identifies as not being traditionally "Chinese American," but aligns more with a color-free nerd-like Americanness that seems to be addressed often in forum discussions.

It also struck me as a, perhaps unintended, commentary on "guys will be guys," even in the digital realm.

I saw BlueSky as an extension of my high school group, where it was a bunch of nerdy/stoner/skater dudes and me, the token chick. I felt like I was reading transcripts of our conversations from way-back-when. I think, even with the hegemonic masculinity and semi-misogynistic attitude toward nerd women (see the section on convention/gamer chicks), I would have felt safe and welcome in BlueSky because these are "my people".

Yes, even with the objectification. I was also one of those self-deprecating nerds in high school; it added to the bond I had with those guys. And yes, there were jokes about spikin' her or spikin' him, but to be included in that line of joking is to be part of that crowd.

But I think that that's what makes up a key component of guys being guys; objectification isn't limited to the jerks. The nice guys do it too.

I really do feel that the argument Kendall was going for was guys will be guys, and even the "nerdy but nice" guys are still guys who resort to making crude, self-deprecating jokes about spikin' females and blubbery whales in chain mail. But this is part of male bonding, on- and off-line. This is how men distance themselves from women (while sometimes even including women, in my experience) and establish dominance (even if not the alpha male), thus continuing the hegemonic masculinity so often ascribed to in American society. Or, in this case, online society. What we may see in BlueSky we now see in 4chan and Kotaku, among others, and will see in future dude forums yet to come. As long as nerds are commiserating, there will always be dudes talkin' about spikin', even if it doesn't really happen outside of the digital realm.